Friday, May 23, 2008

Living in a town of Adopters

At the time I didn't know that my town was so involved with adoption and I was just on cloud nine that I was finally in reunion. I told anyone and everyone who would listen. Shortly afterwards I started to notice that I was being avoided by people who used to have at least a hello in the past.

I am all too familiar with being shunned but this time I didn't know why. After years of living here the stories of adoption started to surface through the few people who would talk to me. I have recently started to be accepted again here in my two spit town (Two spits out the window and your on the other end of town.) and I have to admit it feels good. No more sitting alone through hours of children's sports or school functions. Actually having someone to talk to at the beach here in town on the week days when it's empty is a definite plus. I guess after 8 years the buzz about me has died down a little.

I went outside today to feel the sun on my face and noticed that my neighbor two doors down was also out. I walked over for some neighborly conversation. In describing a situation with another neighbor she let me know that all her children were adopted. I was surprised at first and asked if she had original birth certificates for them. She said she did. Like the rush of an avalanche, familiar feelings of being an outcast came over me. I remembered where I was living and how wonderful it was to be accepted again.

I let her finish her story and move onto another. I didn't say a word about my daughter. I wanted to. I wanted to tell my story of successful reunion, but instead, I made an excuse and walked back home never telling her how wonderful it was for both of us to be reunited for the past 8 years.

Sometimes it feels like I'm a an evil threat to adoptive parents everywhere. I know not all adoptive parents feel this way but it is so hard to tell by looking at a person what their perspective might be. I guess what bothers me the most is if I can't tell by looking at them what their perspective is, how can they tell by one sentence out of my mouth what my circumstances were?

Sorry Rachael I feel as though I have betrayed you by not feeling comfortable enough to talk about you, but I know you understand.

Lori A

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