DNA Diaries

I have seen the movie Juno. I have read the the controversial comments about how witty the movie was, warm and heart felt, how up lifting and funny it is. I have also listened to adoptees who are enraged by the concept of the movie and many others like it, speak of how it is not so funny if you live it. How every time they turn around this highly publicized movie is shoved in their face as a constant reminder of who they are or who they aren't.

I am not a movie critic by any means. I'm cheap, and only see movies when they make the dollar rack, but I made an exception for this one. I liked Juno. I found it funny. It has some great one liners in it. It is warm and fuzzy, it's a feel good movie. Your supposed to feel warm and fuzzy when it's over.

Let me point a few things out about this movie.
FIRST of all, it is simply a movie. I have spent years telling my kids that "they" can do anything they want in movies and television. That does not make it real life. I can remember falling asleep watching one of the nightmare on elm street movies and waking to both my boys frightened half to death by what they saw when they awoke from their nap. I spent days finding pictures of Robert England to show them that this is the guy behind the mask and makeup of Freddie.

SECOND This is someones job and they are obviously very good at what they do if they can take such a sensitive subject and turn it into a feel good movie. They don't get paid unless they can pull off the warm and fuzzy aspects of the film. Or they don't' get paid much I should say. The movie needs to be liked, and for the most part I liked the movie. Because I could pull myself out of my situation and just watch it as a movie. If I had not been in reunion it is highly possible that I would not have been able to do that.

THIRD this is not by any stretch of the imagination how a first mother is going to feel about relinquishing her child. Take it from someone who has lived this, the warm and fuzzes just weren't there. I'm not a bitter first mom. I am from the baby scoop era where almost all adoptions were closed. I still do not feel like I was coerced into my decision, but my circumstances were different.
I do however remember regretting my decision, and missing my daughter almost every day. I remember having things like adoption conversations come up and instantly turn my stomach into a knotted mess as I try to keep my mouth shut and not let anyone know that I was one of those women they were so freely bashing, and expecting me to join in.

This movie, that is just a movie, is a gross misrepresentation of what adoption is really like. For the people who live it, I can see why they are so upset by this film. There is way too much that is left out. Too much that has been twisted to get that feel good response in the theater. No follow through to years down the road and how everyone is affected by the warm and fuzzy decision to complete someone elses life through the gift of adoption.

I am not against adoption. I believe there will always be a need to provide children who have no home, a place to grow and be safe. I believe in Ethical Adoption. What I don't believe in is adoption done through coercion, bullying, and misrepresentation on film.

JUNO IS A MISREPRESENTATION ON FILM.

If you can watch the movie and keep in mind that this is just a movie presented to get a particular response from the audience, I say enjoy the film. But if you are going to walk away thinking that this represents real life, if your going to compare adoption to your family and friends as a win win situation for everyone based on the movie you paid a few bucks to see, I beg you to do yourself and anyone else you may infect a favor and do research on real life adoptions. Ones that have for the most part taken more than they have given. Ones that no matter how normal and good the arrangement was for the adoptee, first parents and adoptive parents, stil leaves gaping holes, unanswered questions and lives scared.

JUNO although a funny film with good one liners IS A MISREPRESENTATION OF REAL ADOPTION.