Auto Pilot or Alzheimers?  

Sunday, July 20, 2008


I got up this morning and went to the kitchen as always. I fed the cats and saw that the coffee pot was empty. I am the only coffee drinker in the house so I make a pot, shut it off and reheat as necessary. This morning as I was making a pot, I was looking around for my cup. I always use the same cup. It's tall and I like the fact that it can hold about 2 cups.

So I'm looking around the kitchen and no cup. I look around the living room and dining room and no cup. I start to get worried, where did I leave my cup? Did I take it out of the house? When was the last time you remember seeing it? Yesterday. I was leaving to take Cherokee home, but I distinctly remember whining about my afternoon cup getting cold before I got back.

I have this thing about coffee cups. If I like the cup it never leaves the house. I don't want to lose it and I have had others fall out of the van door when opened only to smash into pieces. I can keep a coffee cup for decades if I never let it leave the house.

I'm fighting panic mode now, Where is my cup!!!!

The coffee is brewing, the cats are eating, no one is up but me. What could have possibly happened to my cup?

Someone broke it. Must be that someone broke it and they didn't want to face me and tell me. I glance in the garbage, no cup. They did, they broke it and they put it somewhere so I can't find it. Now mind you the whole time I have the little voice in my head telling me that it's just a cup and not one of any significant value other than it holds more than the rest of my cups. It is possible that the handle just broke off while washing, it's happened before, even to me.

Then I start thinking about my very favorite cup. The one I never use. It hangs in the cupboard and everyone knows not to touch it. It is the last of a set and I have had it for 20-25 years. I don't even use it any more it's so special. I tell myself at least it isn't my very very favorite cup.

I slowly start to come to grips with the sad reality that my morning ritual is about to change forever. I am going to have to find another morning cup or go back to using my very favorite. As I take a cup out of the cupboard, (not my favorite) and start to pour, I remembered that I have left my cup in the microwave on several occasions. I heated a cup in the afternoon, got busy and forgot about it.

I open the microwave and there it is. There's my cup. I left it in the microwave, must have forgotten about it yesterday. I reach inside the microwave, wrap my fingers around the handle and gently pull the cup out to see how much coffee is in it.

To my surprise, the coffee was hot. I was so confused that I actually put my hand on the side of the microwave to see if it was hot. As if it would be. I looked inside the microwave to see if it was catching on fire. I looked in the cup, for what i don't know. HOLY SHIT HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED. I didn't hear the buzzer go off. I didn't hear the humming of the microwave the whole time I was wandering the house looking for my cup. I don't remember locating my cup, pouring coffee in it, opening the microwave, putting the cup in, punching the buttons, hearing it heat my coffee, the timer, nothing. HALF A DAY LATER and I still don't remember doing any of this.

As a kid growing up, I ate my fair share of Teflon flakes from our fading frying pan, I have used deodorant all my life, I have killed a few brain cells through recreation and I have wondered before if Alzheimer's isn't going to be the thing that gets me. This is the first time (jokes aside about Alzheimer's getting to me) that I have done anything that actually shook me because I can't remember. I have absolutely no memory of going through those motions this morning and I wonder, is it auto pilot or the beginning stages of Alzheimer's?

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3 comments: to “ Auto Pilot or Alzheimers?

  • Cricket
    Monday, July 21, 2008 at 12:53:00 AM PDT  

    When you get too much stuff stuck in your head it will start leaking out. It really was funnier the first time I tried to leave you a comment - but I couldn't remember my password... Is this catching - I know you gave it to me...

    Love ya Lori

  • Jenna
    Monday, July 21, 2008 at 9:56:00 PM PDT  

    in college my roomate did this with ice cream in the microwave...we found it 4 days later. I just never understood how she could forget ICE CREAM, as when I am in the mood for that sweet treat nothing will distract me...

    and i agree with peggy...when my head is too full i become very forgetful (stoves on for days, keys hanging in the door, etc. etc.). hope the forgetfulness was just temporary ;)

  • Unknown
    Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at 12:21:00 PM PDT  

    Lori: Welcome to my world!


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