Some of the nicest letters  

Friday, June 27, 2008

Since we started this blog I have received some of the nicest letters thanking Rachael and I for opening up and sharing our experiences. I have to admit, I never expected that.

One in particular got me thinking. It was from a friend of mine in high school, whom I had long lost track of until I started looking for Rachael's father. Funny how looking for him brought some real quality people back into my life. I thought it was just a bonus until today. These people knew me when I was in high school. They knew me through all the partying, the pregnancy, the insanity of the 70's. Now they are reading my musings 35 years later and inspired by my journey, my reunion and how Rachael and I have brought to light for them a new perspective on adoption. Not slanted one way or another, not all sappy good stuff or depressing self pity. Just things they had never thought about before. What it must have been like for me all those years. What it must have been like for her. What it must be like for all of us to be back in each others lives. Even though these people didn't know who Rachael's father was, because I wasn't telling, in the end, after reunion with her father, and the secret of 35 years could be told, they did know him, some better than others, but all enough to know where she gets some of what she has. By knowing not only me at that time but him too they can see through her musings that she inherited some "strong stock" I think was the term one person used, in reference to both her father and I.

How weird it is for me to have a comment like that made. Our lives, although far from blank slates, have been pretty much about who we have been for the last 9 years. It isn't about back then because we didn't have a back then. Life with her father is only 6 months old. She's just getting to know him, and here is someone talking about us and what we were like as people back in the day.

I thought all the reference to her talents, her behaviors, her mannerisms were reserved for the parents who raised her. I thought they were going to get credit for all the good things she possesses as a person. Even though I have heard her say many times they never understood her. They loved her, treated her like one of their own as much as they could, but just didn't understand her zany side, her craziness, her love for rock and roll.

How interesting that I would be taken back by a comment linking her to me, my strengths, my thick skin. A comment made by someone who knew me back then, who knew her back then, although not in person, had been around her, watched her grow from fetus to full blown infant in the womb.

But there was an us back then, we did have time together, all 3 of us. We have people who remember parts of our story. People other than my family who were not the least bit humored by my keeping Jim a secret, or the way I paraded around town in all my unholiness. People who remember us as us.

Now they're reading her stories, her journey's about being separated from each of us. They are reading her ramblings about what it was like, how it affected her and how most everything came together after finding me, and how full circle everything is after finding Jim.

How odd that this would strike a cord with me. That I would be inspired by people being inspired by mine and my daughters stories.

Who'd of thunk!!!!

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